And All That Could Have Been
by TwoTrack
Summary: How exactly does Sirius know his brother is dead?


**And All That Could Have Been  
**_Prologue_

**Rating:** T  
**Genre: **Drama/Angst  
**Summary: **How exactly does Sirius know his brother is dead?  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Harry Potter. This was written simply as a diversion to boredom.  
**A/N: **Ahhhhh crap. This is what one gets for not checking the Lexicon before writing a story. Bah. If you're willing to have an open mind and think that maybe, just maybe Regulus could have been 'killed' before1980 and go ahead and read, I'd be extremely grateful. I thought of this pre-HBP, and it will be written as such. Just a fair warning.

* * *

James grinned at Sirius, the cheeky one that always meant mischief. "You've done it now, Black," he said in a cocky voice. 

Sirius, crouched by the door of their room, cringed against the coming spell. They were alone; Peter had disappeared to wherever he went (Sirius insisted it was to meet that Ravenclaw boy, Quirinus) and Remus, as far as they knew, was in the library. They had all left a quarter of an hour ago, before Sirius and James had decided to stage a mock Muggle duel to fight for the honour of their owls. The rest of the dorms were nearly empty. It was Christmas eve, and many of the students gone for the holidays.

So of course, James didn't expect someone to walk in the room right then, just waltz in as he lifted his wand and shouted "_Furnunculus!"_

"Sirius…I think you should loo-" was all Lily Evans had said before the spell hit her. She gasped and looked up from a piece of parchment to James. Boils sprang up along her arms at an alarming rate.

James gaped as Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "No, no…" he groaned, bringing his hands up to rub at his forehead. "Ah…what's the counter spell…"

Lily took a few steps into the room, the parchment fluttering to the floor as she brought a shaking hand up to point at the distraught boy. "Potter…"

She was interrupted by footsteps that thudded up the stairway, followed by a crisp, slightly hoarse voice. "My apologies Peter, but I'm a prefect and you can't just go around kissing people in the middle of the…"

Remus and a pink Peter suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"What the hell…what's going on?" Remus asked. "James…"

"He hit Lily with a spell," Sirius said dismissively from the floor. "Forget that, who was Wormtail snogging?" He grinned, sliding up the wall to an upright position and leaning against it.

Peter turned even pinker, and Remus frowned. "Not your concern, Sirius," he said loftily, before turning to Lily and murmuring the counter spell. He reached down to pick up Lily's wand where it had fallen. Lily smiled at him before turning back to James.

"James Potter," she began, now ignoring the other three boys who were exchanging looks of anticipation. "I really don't know what your problem is."

"Evans…see here…"

"I don't care what you've got to say! It'll be the same tosh as always, and-"

"Oi, what's this?" interrupted Peter. He bent down and picked up a piece of parchment from the floor, brow furrowing as he read.

Lily turned to him, mouth still open. Her eyes flicked from Peter to James, then she reached out brusquely to snatch the parchment from Peter. "It's for Sirius," she said firmly, handing it to the other boy. She crossed her arms and waited, a slightly worried expression on her face.

Sirius had taken the parchment with a grin; his expression faltered slightly as he read, finishing with disbelief and tension. He looked up at the others, looking slightly sick.

"Padfoot…mate? What's up?" James asked feebly. He had rarely seen Sirius act like this. Sirius was friendly, haughty, confident.

"Sirius…?"

The young Black made a noise somewhere between a sob and growl, then abruptly turned and ran down the stairs. Behind him the three spellbound boys just stared, not comprehending. Remus was the first to break the silence.

"Lily…"

"Sorry," she said, shaking her head. "It's just that…"

"What?"

"Come, now."

She hesitated. "He-he…Regulus is dead."

"_What?_"

"No!"

"When?"

They looked to Lily, but she simply shook her head once more and left.

* * *

She searched the school for him, through the corridor leading to the kitchen, all the way up to the Astronomy Tower. It was when she was near to conceding defeat that she noticed the door in the hallway, opposite a portrait of a wizard attempting to teach trolls ballet. Lily was quite sure it hadn't been there before…and suddenly knew where Sirius must be. Reaching the door, she flung it open- 

-and yes, there he was. His back was to the entrance, and he faced an enormous wall of glass items that he was systematically blasting. A few seconds after they were destroyed, the objects repaired themselves.

She stepped into the room, thinking desperately for a way to get him to notice her…and then the door swung shut, supplying a much louder sound than it should have. Sirius didn't turn, didn't shout or try to curse her, but he lowered his wand.

In the silence his breath was heavy and ragged. She hesitated, didn't know whether to approach or not; and then he came to her. He tottered and staggered and all but fell on her as she reached up to embrace him.

"Oh, Sirius…" she whispered.

He didn't answer but after a few moments began to cry. She held him to her, and then they both sank down onto the hard stone floor, his sobs echoing around the room.


End file.
